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Thursday, 11 November 2010

A calming influence

Feeling a bit odd to be honest. I've taken my medication and I'm now lying in bed feeling rather relaxed. I suspect that it's merely a course of sedatives or similar to keep me quiet until the next review. The effects are a bit peculiar, I feel like I'm sinking into a very deep, very soft mattress, continuously. Emma has been very understanding, she and I had a chat when she returned from the chemists and I agreed that I was suffering from stress and was not myself. I now know that she, and probably my new consultant friend, will be reading this blog so I'd better behave. However, I will still describe what I can see, hear and feel with all due honesty.

Even though I am calmer now this does allow me a deeper insight into the ever present dark apparitions that are constantly darting around in my peripheral vision. The whispering is clearer now and at times I can almost make out words, the odd snatch of a phrase and sometimes laughter or occasionally screams. After my time spent in hospital today I am all to aware that the extreme likelihood is that all of this is in my head alone and there are no shadow people, no whispering and no glowing supernatural entities wandering the streets of Hampshire, but I can only describe what I am witnessing.

Just a little while ago, about an hour or so, I found myself drifting in and out of a doze, the faint whispering growing in intensity as I slipped into sleep and just for a moment the shadows became clearer. I had a brief moment when I could make out faces and definite forms, they all looked so sad and lost.

More later.

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