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Tuesday, 28 September 2010

Thick as a Whale Omelette

I do love that phrase, from Blackadder the Third I think. Well that phrase describes me today I’m afraid. I couldn’t sleep for about three hours last night, initially because two police cars parked outside attending to a neighbour’s domestic problem, probably, could have been anything really. I just assumed as much as the neighbour in question is well known to the police. They (the police that is) were talking to someone for about an hour and a half, couldn’t really see who as the angle from my window would not allow, not that I go in for that curtain twitching curiosity you understand. Afterwards I found it so difficult to get back to sleep, over active mind is my excuse. If I was a woman I would have decided to wake my partner up for ‘a chat’ but as I am not I suffered in silence. I am sure that a myriad of interesting and poignant ideas and facts ran through my buzzing brain but this morning, alas, I could not recall any.

I’m sure most of the planet’s problems have been solved by insomniacs but the fact that a majority of people don’t have a means to record their thoughts to hand at three in the morning means that we, as a race, have missed the innovations and solutions that would have put us far in advance of where we are today:

What time is it now? A quarter to four? Oh shit! I’ll just turn over, that’s better. Wait we don’t need genetically modified rice to solve the world’s food shortage. If we just, yeah that would work, it would definitely work. Right I need to write that down, where’s my pen? Oh yeah, downstairs by my PC. Never mind I’ll start on that first thing tomorrow.

Time travel, teleportation, everlasting batteries and of course the holy-grail of  not-yet-invented technology; the unblockable drain would all be in everyday use now if insomniacs took a pen or a voice recorder to bed every night. Well probably not, I’m just annoyed that I know I should have done exactly that. Definitely not to record an earth changing revelation but more likely where my phone charger could be found or what shoes I should be wearing today.

So it was with a particularly numb and empty mind I left for work this morning. I was not thinking about any of the events of the past few days when I had an epiphany. Assuming that the numbers I found are coordinates and that those coordinates are for Portsmouth harbour then why couldn’t they be on a boat? I can’t believe that I live in a town where it is almost impossible to travel for half a mile in any direction without encountering a marina, boatyard, chandlery or slipway and I didn’t think of boats. That is why I describe myself today as ‘thick as a whale omelette’.

I am further hoping that if it is a boat, or a yacht, launch or something similar it’s something publically accessible. The Gosport Ferry is an obvious start. I theorise that a note left in a public place would be more likely to refer to a publically accessible means of water transport, and as the slogan so brilliants states; ‘It’s shorter by water.’

If I get the chance I will take a quick boat trip this afternoon or tonight and see what I can find.

What ‘Bowl’ may mean I am not sure.

More later.

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