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Friday, 19 November 2010

A lull!

Another quiet morning, I sat on the sofa watching Jeremy Kyle while Johnnie hoovered. In an apron! I'm not sure if this was for my benefit or he actually he did this every day.

It was at about ten thirty that my brain began to rebel and force me to focus on my new reality. I was not working, earning, nor was I performing any really useful activity for my family, for myself or for any member of the human race. I was failing my wife and my family, I was failing myself and I had turned my back on my job. All of this was inexcusable and brought down a hard feeling of guilt, depression and very low self esteem.

I looked down at myself, lying on the sofa. Wearing pyjamas, odd socks and covered with a cheap duvet, I was no advertisement for a successful anything. Johnnie brought me a cup of tea and seemed happy to discuss the latest reality TV issues. It was not his fault but I felt sick, I felt useless. Should I call Sue? Should I give up and go home? Sue had suggested that there were many others in a situation similar to ours, she had offered to introduce me to 'her friends', a group that may change my mind on my pre-conceived notions on the supernatural entities I had recently been 'blessed' with an ability to perceive.

When Johnnie abandoned his hoovering campaign and retreated to the kitchen for his own reasons I was left with my guilt and negative emotions. My phone in my hand I looked at the most recent calls; Emma and Sue. I called Sue.

Every time we talk Sue and I seem to find another link, something else we have in common. It turns out that Sue went to school in Plymouth, Southway to be exact; a place where I spent a number of my formative years as my parents lived in Naval married quarters. She was in a different year but it gave us another common link. We talked for fifteen minutes or so before she suggested a time and place for me to meet her circle of friends. I agreed, too quickly I suppose, but I do need to understand more, but mainly I need to see if Sue is mental. If she is then so am I and this is all a sham. If this is the case I will sign into my comfy ward immediately.

Sorry Emma.

More later.

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